1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
