Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize