She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
