I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
