Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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