That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize