boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
