Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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