I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
