And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize