I swear god or herbie drove my car home
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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