well I can't set my house on fire every night
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
