He kissed a someone with a penis
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize