i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Im part way to drunk.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
