is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
