guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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