New low: just hacked my moms facebook
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
