Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize