She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
