How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize