my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
