Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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