i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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