This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My ass is underappreciated
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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