How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
