What did we do last night that was yellow?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
