I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize