Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
