Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
