who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
