I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
