I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
