You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
