he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
