oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
what is it with giant penises always finding me
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
