meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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