p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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