If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
