found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Who died my cat blue again?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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