YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize