Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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