My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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