I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Help. Why am I so naked?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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