My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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