Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm like, not good at living.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
