Pappa wants mamma naked
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
