every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
