I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
