I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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