i was rollin on her like bob the builder
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
