My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
