Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
