How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
