Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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