im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
