So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
