you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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