That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
