Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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