Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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