if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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