She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
