i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
