I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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