doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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