you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
