woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
