He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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