You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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