After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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