I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
