Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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