Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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