How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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