So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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