1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
