we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
