who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You're earring is so big in my mouth
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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