So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize