I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I am in a vortex of obligation.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
